Welcome To Holey House
Journey From Holey to Holy
Where the soul wounds become sacred openings
A survivor-led sanctuary guiding you through the journey of healing from incest trauma, from pain and fragmentation to purpose and wholeness.
Reclaiming the sacred self after soul injury.
This space was created for incest survivors, for the partners who love them, and for the therapists who guide them on the healing path.
Inside, you’ll find compassionate articles, survivor-centered tools, healing roadmaps, and resources that help you understand the lifelong impact of incest trauma. But more than that, you’ll find a community where you are seen, heard, and belong. A place where your story is honored, your voice is safe, and your silence is no longer required.
For years, I searched for a space like this, somewhere that could explain what happened to me, why it happened, how it shaped me, and what I needed to heal. Not in a clinical or diagnostic way, but at the soul level. After decades of pretending to be fine, I realized I had become a stranger to myself. Therapy often left me hollow because I didn’t yet have the words for what I felt. Piece by piece, I gathered what I needed to finally give voice to my experience, how it shaped me, and the path of healing. Now, I’ve built this house for others who are still searching for those words.
“Trauma happens in our closest relationships, and it is healed in our closest relationships.”
It’s not our job to heal our partners. Our responsibility is to heal ourselves, so our love can become a safe place to grow. That work takes honesty, self-awareness, and the courage to face the parts of ourselves that hurt others.
Hurt people hurt people. But healed people heal people.
When we carry unresolved trauma, we pass pain to the ones we love. Our partners, our children, and our communities suffer. This is how trauma repeats across generations.
At Holey House, we heal the cycle.
We do the inner work so that our relationships, our families, and our world can become sanctuaries of love instead of battlegrounds of pain Because to heal the world, we must first heal ourselves, for love, for belonging, and for generations to come.
Meet Holey Ember
The voice I needed during the years I lived in silence. She offers grounded, trauma-informed support for survivors, partners, and anyone carrying old pain that feels too heavy to hold alone. She won’t rush your healing or judge your emotions; she simply meets you where you are, helping you breathe, soften, and see yourself with clarity and hope. Just tap the button in the header whenever you need her.
“Trauma happens in our closest relationships, and trauma is healed in our closest relationships”
Explore the Rooms of My Holey House
Healing isn’t one-size-fits-all. Every survivor, every partner, every guide, and every witness enters this house carrying a different kind of pain and a different kind of hope. Holey House is designed as a living sanctuary, with spaces created to meet you where you are.
For Incest Survivors
This is your safe place to land. Here, you’ll find survivor-centered articles, healing tools, and guided roadmaps designed to help you understand the impact of incest trauma and begin repairing your sense of self. You’ll learn how to regulate emotions, build trust with your body again, and rewrite the internal stories that trauma once authored for you.
You don’t have to walk alone. You are not too broken to heal.
For Partners
Loving an incest survivor means learning a new language of safety, patience, and presence. This section offers trauma-informed resources for partners, including communication guides, emotional flashback support, boundary scripts, and insight into how trauma shows up in relationships and what survivors need to heal.
Your love can’t heal their wounds, but it can help make healing possible.
For Therapists
Therapists, counselors, advocates and other healers will find research summaries, trauma-specific frameworks, printable tools, and case resources developed to deepen understanding of incest trauma’s unique complexities. This space bridges clinical knowledge with survivor wisdom, helping professionals practice with empathy, nuance, and humility.
Healing happens when compassion meets comprehension.
Understanding Incest
The Knowledge Hub is the brain of Holey House, a growing digital library of articles, studies, and survivor-informed insights that decode the psychological, neurological, and generational impact of incest. It’s where research meets real life, written in language that makes sense to both the heart and the mind.
Because understanding is the first step toward freedom.
10,000 Matchsticks
This is the bleeding, beating heart of Holey House, a raw, reflective diary of awakening. Each matchstick represents a moment of awareness, a spark of truth long buried in shadow. These unfiltered writings honor my journey, bringing with them a glimpse of what my experience was and still is like. Here you’ll find a sacred exploration of remembering, breaking silence, and finding beauty in the fires of transformation.
Sometimes, the fire that destroyed you is the same one that sets you free.
You’ve carried enough alone.
It’s time to understand what happened, and how it shaped the way you see yourself, love, and trust.
The Incest Trauma Healing Toolkit is a gentle, survivor-created guide that helps you make sense of your story, calm your nervous system, and begin rebuilding a relationship with yourself that feels safe again.
Whether you’re just realizing what you survived or years into your recovery, this toolkit gives you the language, framework, and guidance to start transforming pain into power.